LT Features

It’s a Science I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have cracked a joke that I found to be utterly hilarious and hear nothing but crickets in return.  Just yesterday I went to an exercise class (something I rarely do) but the usual instructor wasn’t there.  When I asked his replacement where “my boo” had run off to, the nasty substitute informed me – in front of the entire class - that he was on vacation with his fiancée and that I should be more discreet about my crush.  Hummina, hummina whaaa?  Calling someone your “boo” is hysterical, no?  I shuffled off with my embarrassed little tail between my legs muttering to myself, “this is why I don’t exercise…” This mortifying debacle spurred a conversation with my friend about what makes someone funny.  Why are some people universally funny and others possess a specific breed of hilarity?  For example, you either find Woody Allen to be a riot or you think he’s a snooze… a confused, and maybe even perverted, snooze at that.  If British humor is dry then is American humor soaking wet?  After ranking our group of friends by comedic wit we tried to determine the science behind it.  My hypothesis was that natural comic timing is born from being somewhat different.  Maybe you are a middle child who needed some extra attention, maybe you got teased for whatever reason (and unfortunate last name, perhaps) and developed a quick tongue, or maybe you’re kind of fugly and had to be funny so that you wouldn’t be stoned to death.  I mean, think about it – there aren’t any attractive, well-adjusted, first-born comics out there.  Kudos to my friend for pointing out that if I think I’m funny, my theory would dictate that I couldn’t possibly be attractive.  Touché.  Luckily there is an exception to every rule… Determined to solve this mystery, I put on the Marie Curie lab coat I always keep handy and got to work.  Below is my scientific, mathematic explanation as to what makes our most beloved comics so hilarious.  Scottish accent + controlled-for-network-TV-dirty-mouth + desk = Craig Ferguson            (48 Hrs x 2) + Leather suit + racy content – ½ [“I want half Eddie!”] = Eddie Murphy Extra pounds + run-on-sentences + cult following + hockey jersey = Kevin Smith Self-deprecation + full sleeve tattoos + Spanx + A-sexuality = Janeane Garofalo Drag + former-street-performer + Emmy nomination + world history = Eddie Izzard Sombrero + clueless but lovable Inspector + side-splitting tweets = Steve Martin Grandma you don’t want to mess with + fat suit + world domination = Tyler Perry Writer for Ben Stiller + never nude + kid in bald cap = David Cross Politics + finger-pointing + screaming + Daily Show = Lewis Black So, what do you think of my comedic equations; any dashes-of-this or eye-of-Newt that should be added to my recipes for funny?  Leave a comment below and tell me what you think I’m missing. L.T.

It’s a Science

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have cracked a joke that I found to be utterly hilarious and hear nothing but crickets in return.  Just yesterday I went to an exercise class (something I rarely do) but the usual instructor wasn’t there.  When I asked his replacement where “my boo” had run off to, the nasty substitute informed me – in front of the entire class - that he was on vacation with his fiancée and that I should be more discreet about my crush.  Hummina, hummina whaaa?  Calling someone your “boo” is hysterical, no?  I shuffled off with my embarrassed little tail between my legs muttering to myself, “this is why I don’t exercise…”

This mortifying debacle spurred a conversation with my friend about what makes someone funny.  Why are some people universally funny and others possess a specific breed of hilarity?  For example, you either find Woody Allen to be a riot or you think he’s a snooze… a confused, and maybe even perverted, snooze at that.  If British humor is dry then is American humor soaking wet?  After ranking our group of friends by comedic wit we tried to determine the science behind it.  My hypothesis was that natural comic timing is born from being somewhat different.  Maybe you are a middle child who needed some extra attention, maybe you got teased for whatever reason (and unfortunate last name, perhaps) and developed a quick tongue, or maybe you’re kind of fugly and had to be funny so that you wouldn’t be stoned to death.  I mean, think about it – there aren’t any attractive, well-adjusted, first-born comics out there.  Kudos to my friend for pointing out that if I think I’m funny, my theory would dictate that I couldn’t possibly be attractive.  Touché.  Luckily there is an exception to every rule…

Determined to solve this mystery, I put on the Marie Curie lab coat I always keep handy and got to work.  Below is my scientific, mathematic explanation as to what makes our most beloved comics so hilarious. 

Scottish accent + controlled-for-network-TV-dirty-mouth + desk =

Craig Ferguson           

(48 Hrs x 2) + Leather suit + racy content – ½ [“I want half Eddie!”] =

Eddie Murphy

Extra pounds + run-on-sentences + cult following + hockey jersey =

Kevin Smith

Self-deprecation + full sleeve tattoos + Spanx + A-sexuality =

Janeane Garofalo

Drag + former-street-performer + Emmy nomination + world history =

Eddie Izzard

Sombrero + clueless but lovable Inspector + side-splitting tweets =

Steve Martin

Grandma you don’t want to mess with + fat suit + world domination =

Tyler Perry

Writer for Ben Stiller + never nude + kid in bald cap =

David Cross

Politics + finger-pointing + screaming + Daily Show =

Lewis Black

So, what do you think of my comedic equations; any dashes-of-this or eye-of-Newt that should be added to my recipes for funny?  Leave a comment below and tell me what you think I’m missing.

L.T.