LT Features

83rd Times the Charm Ahh, it seems just yesterday I was writing my very first blog for EPIX exploring the epic awkwardness that was the 2010 Academy Awards and now, here we are a year later and I could pretty much copy and paste my ranting and raving from last year and pass it off as a fresh post.  Why, oh WHY must the Oscars make me feel so uncomfortable?  I can barely look at a photo of Anne Hathaway and James Franco without cringing, let alone actually listen to them speak.  But frankly it is even worse than just being merely uncomfortable – I was often utterly perplexed by the whole production.  Where to begin, where to begin… as I’ve mentioned before, I have a major problem with actors thinking they’re singers and vice versa.  Owning a SAG card does not entitle you to “perform” whenever there is a stage within 100 yards.  But apparently Anne and Gwyneth Paltrow don’t read LT Features (shocking, I know) because they both busted out into song.  Making matters even worse, Anne sang in a suit about Hugh Jackman (how Hugh Jackman was relevant to anything this year is beyond me) and Gwyn was introduced as “Country music’s newest star.”  Oy vey.  Anne also took the liberty of having a “personal moment” while she twisted and let the beads oh her dress flop around her torso.  She had so many aww-gee-shucks-I-can’t-believe-I’m-really-here-in-big-ol’-Hollywood moments that I wanted to poke my eyes out.  I asked myself what happened to my beloved Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin every time she covered her mouth and fake giggled like a stereotypical Asian tourist with a Hello Kitty backpack asking someone to take their picture in front of a Starbucks or something equally generic.  I just wanted to shake Anne and scream, “at least try to be cool.” But it wasn’t all bad.  Despite appearing to be stoned out of his gourde, James Franco really rocked his brief but memorable moment dressed in drag as a Marilyn Monroe.  Melissa Leo dropped an f-bomb in her acceptance speech, which gave me a chuckle since I have the maturity of a ten-year-old boy.  Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis had somewhat amusing banter, Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were quite hilarious and Colleen Atwood, the woman who won the Oscar for Costume Design for her work on Alice in Wonderland had the funniest speech of the night.  You see, Colleen wasn’t trying to be funny and that’s why she was so successful.  First she shoves poor Oscar into her armpit while she retrieves her speech and then she proceeded to thank everyone in the most monotone and ridiculous manner imaginable.  It was like, despite reading off of an index card, she couldn’t remember what she was saying.  I would like to thank the… Academy.  And Director Tim… uh… Burton…  I mean, were you so unbelievably busy that you couldn’t memorize your speech?  In conclusion, there were some things I liked about Sunday (Kirk Douglas’ sassiness, for example) and some things I hated (I won’t name names but it rhymes with Shmanne Shmathaway), and although nothing I predicted would happen actually happened I still enjoyed the show.  What did you think?  Leave a comment below and let me know! L.T.

83rd Times the Charm

Ahh, it seems just yesterday I was writing my very first blog for EPIX exploring the epic awkwardness that was the 2010 Academy Awards and now, here we are a year later and I could pretty much copy and paste my ranting and raving from last year and pass it off as a fresh post.  Why, oh WHY must the Oscars make me feel so uncomfortable?  I can barely look at a photo of Anne Hathaway and James Franco without cringing, let alone actually listen to them speak.  But frankly it is even worse than just being merely uncomfortable – I was often utterly perplexed by the whole production. 

Where to begin, where to begin… as I’ve mentioned before, I have a major problem with actors thinking they’re singers and vice versa.  Owning a SAG card does not entitle you to “perform” whenever there is a stage within 100 yards.  But apparently Anne and Gwyneth Paltrow don’t read LT Features (shocking, I know) because they both busted out into song.  Making matters even worse, Anne sang in a suit about Hugh Jackman (how Hugh Jackman was relevant to anything this year is beyond me) and Gwyn was introduced as “Country music’s newest star.”  Oy vey. 

Anne also took the liberty of having a “personal moment” while she twisted and let the beads oh her dress flop around her torso.  She had so many aww-gee-shucks-I-can’t-believe-I’m-really-here-in-big-ol’-Hollywood moments that I wanted to poke my eyes out.  I asked myself what happened to my beloved Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin every time she covered her mouth and fake giggled like a stereotypical Asian tourist with a Hello Kitty backpack asking someone to take their picture in front of a Starbucks or something equally generic.  I just wanted to shake Anne and scream, “at least try to be cool.”

But it wasn’t all bad.  Despite appearing to be stoned out of his gourde, James Franco really rocked his brief but memorable moment dressed in drag as a Marilyn Monroe.  Melissa Leo dropped an f-bomb in her acceptance speech, which gave me a chuckle since I have the maturity of a ten-year-old boy.  Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis had somewhat amusing banter, Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were quite hilarious and Colleen Atwood, the woman who won the Oscar for Costume Design for her work on Alice in Wonderland had the funniest speech of the night. 

You see, Colleen wasn’t trying to be funny and that’s why she was so successful.  First she shoves poor Oscar into her armpit while she retrieves her speech and then she proceeded to thank everyone in the most monotone and ridiculous manner imaginable.  It was like, despite reading off of an index card, she couldn’t remember what she was saying.  I would like to thank the… Academy.  And Director Tim… uh… Burton…  I mean, were you so unbelievably busy that you couldn’t memorize your speech? 

In conclusion, there were some things I liked about Sunday (Kirk Douglas’ sassiness, for example) and some things I hated (I won’t name names but it rhymes with Shmanne Shmathaway), and although nothing I predicted would happen actually happened I still enjoyed the show.  What did you think?  Leave a comment below and let me know!

L.T.