LT Features

It’s MY Turn (Said in Creepy Black Swan Voice) About three months ago I left New York to go on an adventure.  I imagined myself starring in my own coming-of-age movie that involved long road trips (kind of like Thelma and Louisebut without the whole murder/suicide thing) and the occasional rugged man who would help me fix the flat tires that inevitably accompany cross-country journeys.   I figured I would be meeting new people, trying new things and would eventually find my true calling.  Being that I had no idea what that calling was, my luggage was similar to an abandoned costume chest you might find on an old movie set.  I have pirate shirts for my sailing adventures, hiking boots for my 127 Hours–inspired excursions and an extensive spandex artillery just in case my “true calling” turns out to be as a crime fighting superhero.  Now that it’s my turn to be the heroine I’m discovering that my role isn’t fully developed; I’m a little all-over-the-place.  One second I want to be a professional athlete and then the next I’m watching a late-night infomercial and seriously considering purchasing a portable deep fryer.  Sometimes I want to be this strong, independent woman and other times I want to wake up to a letter from Columbia Presbyterian Hospital saying there was a terrible mix-up 25 years ago and I was actually switched at birth.  The hospital is flying me to my true home, Buckingham Palace, and paying me substantially for the pain and suffering a quarter of a century of subway rides must have caused.  Sometimes I hope I will go through a delayed puberty and turn into a werewolf (they’re all the rage now!) or shed my good-girl image with a stint as a Vegas showgirl. I’m constantly looking for my next adventure and movies are the perfect inspiration.  Still on my To Do list is time travel, then an inter-galactic experience that involves astronaut ice cream (that stuff is surprisingly delicious).  After that, who’s storyline should I steal from?  Maybe a couple rounds in the ring like Rocky?  Leave a comment below letting me know what role you think I should play next and – fingers crossed – I’ll be brave enough to try it. L.T. P.S.  As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, my last post was an April Fool’s Day joke.  So, to all the potential suitors out there, don’t you worry!  I’m still significantly closer to a life of solitude (well, not totally alone – I have my cats!) than I am to marriage.   

It’s MY Turn (Said in Creepy Black Swan Voice)

About three months ago I left New York to go on an adventure.  I imagined myself starring in my own coming-of-age movie that involved long road trips (kind of like Thelma and Louisebut without the whole murder/suicide thing) and the occasional rugged man who would help me fix the flat tires that inevitably accompany cross-country journeys.   I figured I would be meeting new people, trying new things and would eventually find my true calling.  Being that I had no idea what that calling was, my luggage was similar to an abandoned costume chest you might find on an old movie set.  I have pirate shirts for my sailing adventures, hiking boots for my 127 Hours–inspired excursions and an extensive spandex artillery just in case my “true calling” turns out to be as a crime fighting superhero. 

Now that it’s my turn to be the heroine I’m discovering that my role isn’t fully developed; I’m a little all-over-the-place.  One second I want to be a professional athlete and then the next I’m watching a late-night infomercial and seriously considering purchasing a portable deep fryer.  Sometimes I want to be this strong, independent woman and other times I want to wake up to a letter from Columbia Presbyterian Hospital saying there was a terrible mix-up 25 years ago and I was actually switched at birth.  The hospital is flying me to my true home, Buckingham Palace, and paying me substantially for the pain and suffering a quarter of a century of subway rides must have caused.  Sometimes I hope I will go through a delayed puberty and turn into a werewolf (they’re all the rage now!) or shed my good-girl image with a stint as a Vegas showgirl.

I’m constantly looking for my next adventure and movies are the perfect inspiration.  Still on my To Do list is time travel, then an inter-galactic experience that involves astronaut ice cream (that stuff is surprisingly delicious).  After that, who’s storyline should I steal from?  Maybe a couple rounds in the ring like Rocky?  Leave a comment below letting me know what role you think I should play next and – fingers crossed – I’ll be brave enough to try it.

L.T.

P.S.  As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, my last post was an April Fool’s Day joke.  So, to all the potential suitors out there, don’t you worry!  I’m still significantly closer to a life of solitude (well, not totally alone – I have my cats!) than I am to marriage.   

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