LT Features

Silent Bob… Not so Silent I have a theory.  This whole time the entertainment industry has lead us to believe that any slim, impeccably dressed blonde woman with glazed over eyes and a Stepford zip code is a robot, when in reality the only robot out there is Kevin Smith.  How else can anyone speak for five and a half hours straight without a bathroom break or losing his or her voice?  Honestly, it doesn’t seem possible.  The man stood there, chatting non-stop, and didn’t even sit down or pop a cough drop.  If I didn’t see him blink or sweat I might have had to call the authorities.  I know what you’re thinking, “there is no way a show can start at 7pm and end at 12:30am!  The theatre would close down!  The audience would leave!”  Well, you’re wrong.  Almost the entire audience stayed put for the duration of the show (there were a couple people who ran to the bathroom, but I’ll let it slide) and, believe it or not, the majority of the show was an “answer” to one audience member’s question.  The person wanted to know what it was like to direct Bruce Willis in Cop Out, and before I knew it, Kevin was talking about his mom’s private parts (where he “came out of”) and his wife’s private parts (where he was “going into”) and suddenly 3 hours had passed and the “Q and A” portion of the show was literally one Q and one A.  Aside from both of my legs falling asleep from lack of movement I have nothing but positive things to say about my trek to Jersey last night to see Kevin Smith’s “Too Fat for Forty” act.  It was Kevin’s real birthday, but all of his fans got the gift of laughter.  Awww, thanks Kev!  The act is going to be cut down slightly (sucks for you, Editor!) and then put up on EpixHD.com on October 23rd for you all to enjoy.  And, so you really feel like you were there, I am going to give away one of the Kevin Smith towels that the audience members got as a party favor when (finally) leaving the theater.  To get the towel all you need to do is tweet at me with an explanation as to why Kevin only wears hockey jerseys.  Yet another one of life’s mysteries… So get excited to carve a few hours out of your schedule and prepare to laugh your ass off… but not too much because Kevin likes people who are a little husky. L.T. UPDATE August 5th, 2010 – We have a winner! 

Silent Bob… Not so Silent

I have a theory.  This whole time the entertainment industry has lead us to believe that any slim, impeccably dressed blonde woman with glazed over eyes and a Stepford zip code is a robot, when in reality the only robot out there is Kevin Smith.  How else can anyone speak for five and a half hours straight without a bathroom break or losing his or her voice?  Honestly, it doesn’t seem possible.  The man stood there, chatting non-stop, and didn’t even sit down or pop a cough drop.  If I didn’t see him blink or sweat I might have had to call the authorities. 

I know what you’re thinking, “there is no way a show can start at 7pm and end at 12:30am!  The theatre would close down!  The audience would leave!”  Well, you’re wrong.  Almost the entire audience stayed put for the duration of the show (there were a couple people who ran to the bathroom, but I’ll let it slide) and, believe it or not, the majority of the show was an “answer” to one audience member’s question.  The person wanted to know what it was like to direct Bruce Willis in Cop Out, and before I knew it, Kevin was talking about his mom’s private parts (where he “came out of”) and his wife’s private parts (where he was “going into”) and suddenly 3 hours had passed and the “Q and A” portion of the show was literally one Q and one A. 

Aside from both of my legs falling asleep from lack of movement I have nothing but positive things to say about my trek to Jersey last night to see Kevin Smith’s “Too Fat for Forty” act.  It was Kevin’s real birthday, but all of his fans got the gift of laughter.  Awww, thanks Kev! 

The act is going to be cut down slightly (sucks for you, Editor!) and then put up on EpixHD.com on October 23rd for you all to enjoy.  And, so you really feel like you were there, I am going to give away one of the Kevin Smith towels that the audience members got as a party favor when (finally) leaving the theater.  To get the towel all you need to do is tweet at me with an explanation as to why Kevin only wears hockey jerseys.  Yet another one of life’s mysteries…

So get excited to carve a few hours out of your schedule and prepare to laugh your ass off… but not too much because Kevin likes people who are a little husky.

L.T.

UPDATE August 5th, 2010 – We have a winner! 

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